Sean Connery, aka "The Big Tam," is retiring from making movies.

And it's not just because he wants to play more golf.

{...}He said: "I'm fed up with the idiots... the ever-widening gap between people who know how to make movies and the people who green-light the movies."

Sir Sean added: "I don't say they're all idiots. I'm just saying there's a lot of them that are very good at it."{...}

I can't fault his logic, but I'm very, very sad about this. Sigh.

{Hat Tip: Fausta}

Posted by: Kathy at 09:47 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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1 /sigh... Sean. Such a loss. Definitely one of the sexiest older men to ever grace the planet.

Posted by: Barbara at August 03, 2005 02:09 PM (ZpT9D)

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If this guy really is a cop, I don't want him anywhere NEAR me.

{Hat Tip: WitNit}

Posted by: Kathy at 11:55 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Amnesty International has come out against the Iraqi "Insurgents."

LONDON - Armed groups in Iraq that oppose the U.S.-led coalition are committing war crimes by killing civilians, taking hostages and torturing and slaying defenseless prisoners, the human rights group Amnesty International said.

Ah, but don't get too excited.

The London-based organization also said it recognized that many Iraqis believe U.S.-led troops also have committed grave human rights violations. But it denounced the Iraqi insurgents for a "failure to abide by even the most basic standards of humanitarian law."

"There is no honor nor heroism in blowing up people going to pray or murdering a terrified hostage. Those carrying out such acts are criminals, nothing less, whose actions undermine any claim they may have to be pursuing a legitimate cause," Amnesty said.

Hey, try not to judge Amnesty too harshly. At least US Troops are now on equal footing with the "insurgents." There's something to be said for that.

Because all terrorists are created equal, no? Now there's a human rights campaign for ya!

Posted by: Kathy at 11:44 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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I'm a wine drinker, right?

We all know this.

I adore my Chardonnay. I really do. I'd drink red wine if I wasn't allergic to the tannins, which give me a whopper of a headache the next day if I have more than one glass. Meaning I can have two glasses of red wine and the next day I will be as hungover as W.C. Fields was everyday of his life. I took me a while to figure this out, of course, but once I did I stopped drinking the stuff, except on rare occasion. But I do like a full-bodied adult beverage when I have one. When a cocktail is in order I like a Sapphire and Tonic (lime on the bottom). I refuse to drink Rhine wines or Sauvingnon Blancs. They taste like wine that deserves a good beating. They're the proverbial skinny guy on the beach who gets buried in the sand. Same goes with frou-frou drinks that are blended and come with an umbrella. So, you can perhaps understand why Chardonnay serves my purposes beautifully. It's full bodied, but not so much so that I hate life the next morning, no matter how little of it I actually drink.

These are the things I like when it comes to boozing it up.

It should be said that I generally avoid beer. I'm not in college anymore. I don't have to drink the stuff if I don't want to. And, for the most part, I don't want to. For many reasons. But...there's a bunch of it in my fridge right now and I'm finding myself drinking it as my evening cocktail routine to clear it out.

And you know what? It's not tasting all that bad.

Hmmph.

ML and The Doctor brought some Bass Ale over the other night for dinner, because my brother-in-law is not a big wine drinker. I thought that perhaps, if I was lucky, my sister might take it home with her, but seeing as how she left more than half her temporary kitchen in my permanent one, she didn't. And she even left me one token Corona, too, so I shall have to drink that as well. No, you don't have to worry: I already have lime in the house.

I don't know why, but it's tasting pretty good. Ususally beer fills me up and leaves me feeling guilty when I invariably reminisce about how much of the stuff I charmed off cute Fraternity boys in school. And I charmed a lot of the stuff off of cute boys. Yeah, I know. I was one of those chicks. Take comfort in the fact that I do feel guilty about it. I'm assuming the fact it's tasting good is because it's hot outside, and the weather seems to demand cold beer, but who knows, really, why it's tasting good.

Perhaps it's because the stuff is free?

I'm puzzled.

Posted by: Kathy at 06:28 PM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
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They just cut all of my scenes out of the film.

My life is rated NC-17.
What is your life rated?

I'm pretty sure it's the smoking thing that shot me out of the "R" category.

{Hat Tip: Phin}

Posted by: Kathy at 02:14 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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So, because of this post yesterday, which got linked by AOL's news service, I'm having a bit of a rush of new customers.

Who are all AOL subscribers.

I somewhat feel like I need a shower.

I'm also fighting the urge to update that post with a little addendum instructing them to get a real ISP. That there's a whole world out there, just waiting for them if only they'd stop being so dependent upon other people, who want to tell them where and how to surf. AOL isn't protecting anyone from spammers or viruses: they're protecting people from finding other alternatives; from exploring the world that is beyond AOL's walls. Which is really sad.

I have willfully restrained myself, however. But damn, it's hard. If I could only get one person off of AOHELL, I might have not only done that person a favor, but have also struck a blow against AOL by denying them that person's monthly protection payment. If only...

Sigh.

Posted by: Kathy at 01:26 PM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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1 "Get a real ISP!" Those are words I've spoken oh so often. Every once in a while, they listen!

Posted by: Ith at August 02, 2005 02:24 PM (P595i)

2 Hey, now. AOHell was berry, berry good to me. Of course, out of seven years I paid them for two -- the other five were gratis -- and the second I got my cable modem I didn't look back. . .but still. . . Ahh hell. Ya'll get a real ISP. AOHell is like the Interwebnet with training wheels. (Oh, and I don't miss their bandwidth governor - not one little bitty bit!)

Posted by: Margi at August 02, 2005 02:52 PM (nwEQH)

3 I wish I could remember who described AOL as being an ISP "with training wheels."

Posted by: EveningStar at August 03, 2005 02:31 PM (xr/uv)

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This certainly isn't good news.

KHARTOUM, Sudan - Violent mobs surged again into the streets of Sudan's capital Tuesday, a day after 36 people died in riots sparked by the death of Sudanese vice president and former southern rebel leader John Garang.

The initial violence Monday was blamed on Garang supporters from the Christian and animist south who blamed his death in a helicopter crash on Sudan's Muslim-dominated government, but both northerners and southerners reportedly staged attacks Tuesday after a quiet morning.

Arab gangs invaded some neighborhoods heavily populated by southerners on the outskirts of Khartoum and attacked people in the streets and raided homes, said William Ezekiel, managing editor of the Khartoum Monitor. He said some people had been shot to death.

"The Arabs are attacking them, entering their houses and looking for southerners," said Ezekiel, whose newspaper focuses largely on southern issues.

"It's a reaction to the reaction from yesterday: `Where is the government? Where are the police?'" he said.

A senior U.N. official in Khartoum said angry southerners from camps outside the capital for people displaced by the long war in southern Sudan attacked the Omdurman area. He said a Muslim imam had been slain.

"The situation is turning religious and that will be even more dangerous," he said, speaking on condition of anonymity because he was not authorized to talk to journalists.

The reports of deaths Tuesday could not be independently confirmed. Officials said Monday's riots resulted in 36 people being killed and about 300 injured.

The government renewed the 6 p.m.-6 a.m. curfew first imposed Monday night, and by midafternoon downtown streets were nearly empty. An occasional siren could be heard.{...}

Oh man.

Sudan's twenty-three-year long civil war between the Northern---Muslim---government and Southern---Christian and Animist---opposition has finally been put to bed with a power sharing deal and it's threatened by this. And make no mistake about it, the peace deal is very much at risk of dissolving with Garang's death. His appointment as Vice President was a very big deal. While I still claim that this decades long civil war was fought more in the name of resources, which are scarce in the North but abundant in the South, religion does play some part in it. And it seems as if that's to be the dividing line once again with this recent violence. The new government has to quash the violence and they have to be equal about it. Any hint of favoritism will blow the peace accord right out of the water: these people are used to fighting; they may want peace, but they know initmately how that peace was obtained and if Bashir, the Northern President, doesn't follow the terms of the deal in relation to quashing the violence, it will be seen by the Southerners as proof that a. they actually did kill Garang and b. they never meant to follow through with the terms of the peace deal in the first place. Even though the SPLM is Garang's organization, and they have denied that the accident was anything other than an accident, it's been reported that they did as much killing of southerners as did the Northern army. If I were a Southern Sudanese, I'd be just as wary of them and anything they had to say as I would be of the Northerners.

Whether or not Bashir will actually do what is needed to salvage the deal is anyone's best guess. It will be interesting to see who rises to take Garang's VP slot. If Bashir appoints a northerner, someone loyal to him, it's a sure sign that's he's going to renege and that the Civil War will flare back up again.

Posted by: Kathy at 01:06 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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In case you might not have heard, King Fahd died.

This, I have to admit, is not interesting news in itself. He's been sick for quite some time and has played no active role in leading his country, having handed that task over to his half-brother, Abdullah, formerly the Crown Prince, now the king. Now, Abdullah himself is no spring chicken at 81. King Fahd was only three years older than him and his successor, another half-brother, named Sultan is 77. These are the sons of Abdul-Aziz bin Saud, who founded the Kingdom. And these are only three of his sons: he sired forty-two children that we know about. God only knows how many illegitimate children he fathered.

I think it's safe to say that nothing interesting is going to happen in The Kingdom until Abdullah and Sultan pass on, provided Sultan moves to the "younger" generation---Abdul-Aziz's grandsons---for his successor. If Crown Prince Sultan doesn't move to the younger generation for his successor, well, things could get interesting of their own accord. Saudi Arabia needs younger leadership: Fahd was great for stability, but Saudi infrastructure is stagnating and needs a boost. If Crown Price Sultan sticks with his own generation for his successor, that could create even more problems within an already disenfranchised population. This would give ground to Islamofascists and democracy activists alike: who both want the House of Saud to crash to the ground.

I'm no expert on The Kingdom, but politics are politics: whether it's in the Kingdom of Great Britain circa 1400 or The Kingdom of Saudi Arabia c. 2005. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to know that the House of Saud holds great power, but that said hold is slipping. The only way to keep that power from slipping further is to find a balance between what's good for the House of Saud and what's good for the population of the country and is something they're willing to live with. There's quite a bit to be done within the Kindgom as it stands right now. Unemployment is sky high within the native population (there are plenty of guest workers, including westerners, but educated young men are increasingly frustrated at the lack of employment opportunity within the country); the economy, other than the oil industry, is stagnating; a great deal of the country's wealth is in the hands of a very small number of people, like this guy, (yeah, he's the guy whose money Rudy Giuliani refused for the 9/11 fund) who would prefer to bring in westerners to rebuild the infrastructure of the Kingdom rather than spending his tens of billions of dollars doing it himself. And this, of course, says nothing of that particularly frustrating brand of Islam called Wahhabism that the House of Saud promotes that causes its own bunch of problems.

Whomever gets the reins after Crown Prince Sultan is going to dictate the direction of Saudi Arabia. The country will either go up in revolutionary flames, or it will continue along the same path with what could be considered to be radical improvements. The ball is still rolling in the same direction it was under King Fahd. We're going to have to wait and see what happens to the ball when the younger generation takes power.

Posted by: Kathy at 12:13 PM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Yes, it's Tuesday, aka Girl Power Day in the Blogosphere, and if you'd like to take a twirl with the fabulous women of The Cotillion, just click on over to these sites:

Go and take a twirl. It'll do you some good.

Posted by: Kathy at 09:25 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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Go and read this interview with Joss Whedon.

You won't be sorry.

{Hat Tip: Jonathan}

Posted by: Kathy at 02:18 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Courtesy of the Taxpayers League of Minnesota and Freedom Dogs:

Heh.

Considering I was actually---genuinely and sincerely---thanked by a teacher last week at Walgreens when I was buying smokes (she was in buying---ahem---SCHOOL SUPPLIES FOR THE KIDS IN HER CLASSROOM WHO CAN'T AFFORD THEM! Out of her own pocket, mind you. She wasn't going to be reimbursed.), these actually go over rather well. Unfortunately, I had to let the teacher down. I told her not to hold her breath (ha ha, aren't I funny?) as I would be buying smoky treats online soon because it would be too expensive when the "Health Impact Fee" kicked in. Not to mention, I did mention, that I had issues with being taxed to make up for laziness and lies of our state politicians. If it was a "fee," I reasoned aloud, wasn't I allowed to ignore said "fee" and exhibit my rights as a consumer to go elsewhere? If the Governor says it's not a "tax" well, then, am I not covered if I don't want to pay it by going someplace I could avoid paying that "fee"? Her face fell and you could see the gears grinding; the thought of future budget shortfalls running like mad through her head. I told her, quite bluntly, to lobby her fellow union members to fire some of their good-for-nothing union administrators and to clean up the local school administration's money sucking bureaucracy to make up the impending shortfall.

She wasn't quite so "thankful" then, I must admit.

{Hat Tip: Bogus Doug}

Posted by: Kathy at 12:42 PM | Comments (2) | Add Comment
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I've always adored Lauren Bacall. I adore her even more today:

NEW YORK -Lauren Bacall has a few unkind words to say about
Tom Cruise. In an interview in the Aug. 8 issue of Time magazine, now on newsstands, the 80-year-old actress says, "When you talk about a great actor, you're not talking about Tom Cruise."

"His whole behavior is so shocking," she says. "It's inappropriate and vulgar and absolutely unacceptable to use your private life to sell anything commercially, but I think it's kind of a sickness."{...}

BWAHAHAHAHAHAAHA!

"When you talk about a great actor, you're not talking about Tom Cruise." Oh, tee hee. He has been so vulgar. Great word choice, Lauren. You can just hear her saying it, can't you? I heart Lauren!

I cannot freakin' wait to hear what poor excuse Tommy Boy comes up with to blow Lauren off. That should be good. Do you think he'll just brush it off by claiming she was on anti-depressants?

Posted by: Kathy at 12:05 PM | Comments (14) | Add Comment
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Yeah, I'm stealing the title from Robbo, but hey, I'm still pooped, hence am lacking in creativity at the moment. Sue me.

Anyway, as mentioned on Friday, the husband celebrated his thirty-fifth birthday that day. This momentous date, of course, demanded a party. The husband decided he wanted to cook for his birthday, which can only be considered odd until you take in the fact that I do most of the cooking around here. He likes to cook, so he looked in the freezer, decided to work mostly with what we had (He does like to clear things out on occasion, even if it leaves us with an empty freezer.) and came up with a fabulous, if not overly meaty, meal of roast pork tenderloin, itty-bitty hamburgers, and lightly breaded and spiced chicken breasts that had been pounded into submission, stuffed with crab stuffing and tied up into little chicken packages with leek strings. We had salad and steamed artichokes, too, just in case you were wondering if we were all going to come down with scurvy for lack of greens. Of course, the Doctor and M.L. came over for supper, and then my sister and her husband and three children, fresh from the lake, arrived, just in time to quaff adult beverages and eat the food. Since this was an "adult" dinner party, we threw the kids into the office, toute suite, which conveniently also happens to have a tee vee and a door that closes, to watch The Incredibles. Not a peep was heard from them until it was time to blow out the birthday candles on the tiramisu. Then they all ran back into the office and waited patiently for someone to start the tape back up. (Whoops! My bad.)

Since we had decided to go here on Saturday afternoon, Christi dragged me out for the obligatory "I need to see if the fabric stores up here have something I can't find in Omaha" shopping trip. Fortunately, Christi is well aware of my general loathing of all things fabric store-y and kept the trip short. Phew. My leg only twitched once during the trip, and I swear, it was completely unintentional on my part. Then we came back for lunch and headed off to the pool for the afternoon.

I must highly recommend the Edina Aquatic Center if you're looking for a kiddie friendly afternoon in the Twin Cities on a hot summer afternoon. It's got everything you could ask for: a kiddie playland for the wee ones in the middle of a zero-depth pool; two waterslides; an olympic pool for swimming; two diving boards; and a zip line that drops the hanger-on into the deep end of the pool after sliding them across part of the width, six feet up. It was loads of fun, and not only for the kids. The husband and I had a great time as well. The intertube waterslide is a blast, and if you have more than one adult in your party, well, know that if you squish two adults onto a tube you can fly like the wind down the slide due to the Laws of Physics. Good fun, no?

Later on we came back to the house, rested for a while, and then shot off for dinner and then went back to the Aquatic Center for a bit of evening swimming. When we got back to the house, the kids were completely wiped out (which was the plan, in case you were wondering) but not so wiped out that they didn't want to give Uncle Mike his birthday treat: fireworks. They know Uncle Mike adores blowing stuff up, so they came well prepared with roman candles, spinners, a parachute thingy, fountains and poppers (those little bits of paper with a bit of gunpowder in them that "pop" when you throw them on the ground). The kids had a great time and the quote for the evening came from James, who after closely examining a little paper tank loaded with fireworks that had become somewhat squished in their travels, scoffed at the husband's concern that something might go wrong, and said, "Just light the thing, old man!" After he finished laughing, the husband was so proud of his little protege he was about to burst. Future Pyros of America, indeed.

Once everyone was settled, and we were all about ready to drop, everyone else received the privilege of dropping, but I had to go over to el aeroporto to pick up Mr. H., who spent last week in L.A. on vacation. Oh, my. Needless to say, I was not pleased with Northworst Airlines. They'd printed on his ticket that his flight arrived at 11:10 pm. And I was there, ready and waiting for him a few minutes early in case they caught a tailwind, which does happen quite often with flights coming in from the west coast. I thought I'd be back home and in bed by 11:45. Turns out, however, Northworst had changed the arrival time from 11:10 to 11:37. OY! By the time he got down to baggage claim (they unloaded the plane at the very last gate on the Gold Concourse, which as anyone who's ever flown through MSP International could tell you is about a mile long and takes forever to traverse.) we claimed his bag, and got back to the Cake Eater Pad it was well past midnight and Kathy was a sleepy girl. Mr. H. however had a great time in La La Land and highly recommends a trip to see King Tut at The Los Angeles County Museum of Art if you happen to visit the greater Lou-Lou-Land metropolitan area.

Yesterday, sadly, everyone headed home and the husband and I decided to decamp to the living room to recover from the whirlwind. We watched loads of crap tee vee and napped. Amazingly enough, the kids did not leave one single thing behind! I'm shocked, but fully expect to find a Hot Wheels under the sofa the next time I vacuum under there. I do have a load of food and a half a case of diet Mountain Dew in the fridge. Christi always leaves me loads of food and drink whenever she comes to visit. After a week in a cabin, she always arrives with enough food leftover to feed an army for a day (or two people for a week). She claims she doesn't want to take it home, but really I think she thinks we're starving or something like that, because our fridge just isn't as full as she thinks it should be. I think she completely forgets we're a family of two instead of five, so it's just never going to have as much stuff in it as her fridge does. So, if anyone wants half a case of Diet Mountain Dew let me know and it's yours.

Regular blogging will resume shortly. Like later in the day.

Posted by: Kathy at 11:41 AM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
Post contains 1165 words, total size 6 kb.

If you're interested, today is the second anniversary of The Cake Eater Chronicles.

wOOt!

And one of these days my archives from the old trailer park Blogspot home will magically appear on the sidebar so that I don't have to fend off claims of "bullshit!"

Posted by: Kathy at 09:48 AM | Comments (8) | Add Comment
Post contains 61 words, total size 1 kb.

1 Happy day!!!!!!!

Posted by: phin at August 01, 2005 10:47 AM (Xvpen)

2 Congrats!

Posted by: Phoenix at August 01, 2005 11:06 AM (4N2f4)

3 Congratulations!! Woohoo! Well done.

Posted by: Christina at August 01, 2005 12:39 PM (zJsUT)

4 Oh happy blog day! And many more you little word spinner. x

Posted by: silk at August 01, 2005 01:00 PM (9IGMy)

5 Congrats! And many more

Posted by: Ith at August 01, 2005 02:28 PM (WbPn3)

6 Happy anniversary!

Posted by: Fausta at August 01, 2005 03:55 PM (Hf7u/)

7 happy bloggiversary! many happy returns : D

Posted by: amelie at August 01, 2005 05:30 PM (JaK1t)

8 Congratulations, dahling. When's the party?

Posted by: sadie at August 01, 2005 10:47 PM (7SNDe)

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If you're not familiar with MMORPG's (Massively Multiplayer Online Role Playing Games), one of the interesting features associated with them is online chat within the game. You can talk to other players, not only to ally with them, but you can also talk to your opponents as well.

Courtesy of the husband (of course. who else do you think sends me this stuff?) we have someone's imaginings of what would be said in the chatroom if WWII had been an online strategy game, instead of an actual war.

A small sampling for your amusement:

{...}deGaulle: **** Hitler rushed some1 help

Hitler[AoE]: lol byebye frenchy

Roosevelt: i dont got **** to help, sry

Churchill: wtf the luftwaffle is attacking me

Roosevelt: get antiair guns

Churchill: i cant afford them

benny-tow: u n00bs know what team talk is?

paTTon: stfu

Roosevelt: o yah hit the navajo button guys

deGaulle: eisenhower ur worthless come help me quick

Eisenhower: i cant do **** til rosevelt gives me an army

paTTon: yah hurry the fock up

Churchill: d00d im gettin pounded

deGaulle: this is fockin weak u guys suck

*deGaulle has left the game.*

Roosevelt: im gonna attack the axis k?

benny-tow: with what? ur wheelchair?

benny-tow: lol did u mess up ur legs AND ur head?

Hitler[AoE]: ROFLMAO {...}

Heheheheh. Go read the whole thing.

And if you have trouble with the Leet Speak, don't ask me.

Posted by: Kathy at 08:57 AM | Comments (3) | Add Comment
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Just to let my devoted Cake Eater Readers know...

...it's the husband's 35th birthday today.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SWEETHEART!

Posted by: Kathy at 08:35 AM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
Post contains 24 words, total size 1 kb.

1 Thanks. Can I have my midlife crisis now? (Damn, already used that one.)

Posted by: MRN aka "The Husband" at July 29, 2005 08:56 AM (QKvIa)

2 You mean you already had your midlife crisis. Let's be clear about these things, m'dear

Posted by: Kathy at July 29, 2005 08:58 AM (QKvIa)

3 Happy birthday Kathy's husband. You can use my midlife crisis if you want, the missus won't let me have it.

Posted by: phin at July 29, 2005 09:00 AM (Xvpen)

4 Happy birthday to The Husband!

Posted by: Fausta at July 29, 2005 09:44 AM (Hf7u/)

5 Happy Birthday, Kathy's Hubby!

Posted by: Ith at July 29, 2005 12:25 PM (WbPn3)

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The husband woke me with the news this morning that the IRA had issued instructions for all its members to lay down arms.

Understandably, I had a hard time believing him.

But, apparently it's true. I wonder how much these women had to do with it.

Moderate Muslims would be wise to learn this lesson. I've read speculation that, given the neighborhoods involved, the attack of 7/7 was as much an attack on the British Government via its citizens as it was on the Muslim population of London. The neighborhoods involved are heavily populated by Muslims and this was, perhaps, a way of trying to terrorize them into compliance with the Islamofascists message. I don't know if this is true, and I don't know if we'll ever find out, but it stands to reason that if Al-Qaeda and its minions thought they could kill two birds with one stone, they would. We don't hear much from moderate Muslims about the civil war that is occurring in their religion (Islamofascists vs. moderate Muslims; those who would advocate a return to the stone age and those who advocate civilization) and, again, it's been speculated that it's because these moderate Muslims are afraid to speak up, for fear that the Islamofascists will turn on them.

Well, it appears that six women---who loved a man as a brother and a fiancee---proved to be the straw that broke the camel's back when it came to the IRA. Robert McCartney, a Belfast Catholic, was murdered for no other reason than he was critical of the IRA and had the guts to speak truth to power. When the IRA offered to "take care of the matter" the women who loved him refused, and instead opted to speak out. The IRA is an organization that used as much terror on its supporters as it did the British.

It should be a lesson to those moderate Muslims we only hear from when they're worried about being attacked themselves that only by speaking out and denouncing the Islamofascists acts---by refusing to play the game the Islamofascists way---will they spare themselves an IRA-like rule of terror. They have got to start denouncing these actions now, and they must do it loudly. They cannot only be worried about the racial profiling of their community, but rather must integrate further into their communities. They must learn that there can only be respect for their faith when they are not silent about the acts that some would commit in the name of it. This will spare them a reign of terror like that of the IRA's. Because, if 7/7 wasn't a message to moderate Muslims to get with the program, it should be said that that message is already being played daily in Baghdad. And that's the message we really don't want to be played in the streets of London or New York or D.C.---or anywhere for that matter.

It's past time for them to choose.

Posted by: Kathy at 10:17 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Ah, pets. People do love their pets, don't they? Not like I'd know firsthand as I've never had any pets. No cats. No dogs. No gerbils. No hamsters. No nothing. I was never responsible in my youth for some furry creature. I never dated anyone who had any pets, either. So, you might understand why I'm having a hard time coming up with stuff for the Demystifying Divas and Marvy Men's Club topic of the day, which is, ahem, what do the pets of potential partners tell you about him or her? And how do pets affect the relationship?

See, I'm at a complete and utter loss, so I shall make shit up. Work for you? Ok, good. It's not like you mind, right? Because if you're a devoted Cake Eater reader you're obviously fond of bullshit, so this isn't really a big leap.

Have you seen those commercials for some allergy medication, where a woman is narrating about her woes with allergies? Then, miraculously, once she starts taking this medication her woes are over with. The entire background starts out full of people and things, these people and things disappear (obviously because this woman has allergies) and then once the woman starts taking the medication, all those things that disappeared reappear, replete with a neato popping sound effect. One of the people who disappears is a "boyfriend with cats." Are we all on the same page here? We are. FABULOUS!

What I don't understand is why this dude reappears.

There's two problems here: the dude still has the cats, which apparently affects the very essential ability of the young woman he's dating to take in the air she needs to breathe, and why on earth would anyone subject themselves to heavy duty allergy medication just to get their boyfriend (and his cats) back? The dude apparently wants her, but still wants his cats too. That sounds pretty selfish to me.

Cat allergies are a pretty big deal, of you didn't know. There are varying degrees of sensitivity, but as I'm married to a man who can walk into a place and tell if there's been a cat in the domicile sometime in the preceding five years, I'm just going to assume everyone's like him. (Work with me here, people.) If I had had a cat when I started dating the husband, he never would have become the boyfriend without me getting rid of the cat. And it would have been selfish of me to keep the damn cat when things started getting serious. I can understand not wanting to jettison a much-loved pet after the first date, but come on. This chick in the commercial was obviously beyond the first date. Yet, she apparently loved this selfish cat owner enough to go on daily allergy medication which probably came with the requisite warning advising against heavy machinery while drugged up. How dumb was she, too, while we're at it? This dude is apparently insensitive to the fact she needs to breathe, yet he refuses to get rid of the one thing that causes his girlfriend agony: his cat. And she goes along with it. Duh.

I think that tells you rather a lot regarding this one cat owner and the girls he dates. He apparently likes them willing to do his bidding, to put his priorities and needs first, even if it's not the best option for their health.

Why, I'll even bet he's asked her to clean out the litter box!

The NERVE of some people!

I suppose the lesson of all this is that if the object of your affection has more consideration for the needs of their pets, that means they think their (and we're talking about the pet owner here) needs are more important than that of their signifcant other. Which means they're selfish and you should probably dump them. It's just not going to work.

Ok, so now that I've bloviated authoritatively on a subject which I know nothing about, go and read what the other daring demystifying divas---Sadie, Chrissy, and Silk---have to say. Ruth at Chaos Theory was supposed to be our guest diva today, but since she's occupied with something else, she has, in one fell swoop, shifted the Diva/Men's Club operational balance by---gasp---asking a man to chime in. It's supposed to be five girls to four guys, hence ensuring we always win, but alas this week the boys have a chance at gender equity. If you're in favor of that sort of thing, Men's Libertation, that is, go and visit Tincanman to see what his take on the topic is. And while you're at it, go and visit The Wiz, Phin, Stiggy and the Naked Villains for even more testosterone blogging.

Posted by: Kathy at 07:51 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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Why is there a sudden plethora of small, red, laser dots on my posterior?

Did I do something wrong?

Posted by: Steve at 12:02 PM | Comments (1) | Add Comment
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[Insert best craven Jake Blues voice here]

It wasn't my faauuuullltttt!!!!!

YIPS From Kathy: Dude, I'll believe that when pigs start sprouting wings.

Posted by: Robert at 10:55 AM | No Comments | Add Comment
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